There are days when, for no reason whatsoever, I feel awful, ugly, unattractive and totally over sensitive about my weight. I am not alone, I know. It is part of the plight of being a woman. We ache over wanting to be beautiful and to belong. On such days as these my thighs can't tear themselves apart from one another, and, in the words of Mark Lowrey, I can hear them apologizing to each other as I walk, "Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me" they whisper together. On these days my face looks swollen or saggy, blotchy or bacterial infested. I look at my head of normally beautiful golden red hair and sigh because it looks dull and full of split ends. If there is any way to pick myself apart, on these days, I find it. On these days, when I am most aware that my hips do not need ten pounds of chocolate, I am most likely to eat at least that much of it. And on these days, I sulk.
But then there are the good days. The days when I can see myself through the eyes of God and through the eyes of the man that fell in love with me. These are the days when no one can hold me back. When I am grateful for the curves that make me so feminine. Days when I soak up the bubbles in my bath, pampering the confident and radiant woman that I am. I put on my favorite dress and blow-dry my hair 'til it shines. I take extra care with my make-up, touching every surface of my face as if it were a beautiful and delicate portrait. These are the days when I am unstoppable. My friends and family ask me why I am so dressed up and I answer, "Because I feel like it," but I know that the real answer is more along the lines of, "Because I deserve it."
Estee Lauder said, "Beauty is an attitude. There's no secret." and "There are no ugly women - only women who don't care or who don't believe they're attractive." I believe this, and so it is my fervent hope that you my friend, see the real beauty that you are today.
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