No matter what...this will always be a fantasy...

I embarrass easily.

I turn red even when called upon in class, even when I know the answer and/or have something very insightful to say, even when the teacher isn't a gorgeous man, even when I know everyone in the classroom (but, especially when I don't). I embarrass easily...but I have these fantasies...yes, let's call them fantasies because to say they are dreams makes one read into these "fantasies" as being life-long goals of mine--like, oh say when I dream of being a renown writer, or of a white picket house with a wrap-around porch, big walk-in closets, and a writing room with an old fashioned writing desk all the pens in the world and a beautiful view from the window.

No, these aren't dreams because unlike the dreams I stated above, I don't expect my fantasies to come true.

Here are my fantasies--and I've had them ever since I can remember:

I am wearing a gorgeous dress with killer heels that somehow are only "killer" in their making me look gorgeous and don't ever kill my feet, I'm in the middle of a big stage in the dark. The full band behind me begins to play and I shout out to thousands of adoring fans including friends and family, "How y'all doing tonight?" The fans are screaming and I begin to sing. My voice is a mix of Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Celine Dion. I am incredible, and although I know that my pitch is good and my notes are right on, I am completely unaware of how perfect the sound really is. I get a rush like none other just singing my heart out, bonding with the people there that night--it is a bond of melody yes, but also of lyrics and heart and rhythm.

These are the fantasies I have had since I was a little girl.

I usually have them when singing in my car--windows down and music turned way up. Or in my room when I'm all by myself and I've had a crappy day, or-- when I have a moment--in the garage, yes, the garage--it has the perfect acoustics and my voice is automatically volumized as it bounces off the walls and cupboards within that open space.

These are my fantasies--well, it really is only one,it just varies each time I have it.

What are your fantasies?