I have discovered the secret to college life...breaking things. College is all about breaking things...breaking world views, philosophies, writing processes, feelings of security, financial stability, sleep patterns, hopes, dreams, desires, eating habits.
Recently I have had somewhat of a crisis of faith. My whole world seems to have been dumped upside down and for some reason it is really hard for me to make sense of anything right now.
This isn't the first time this has happened. A similar feeling came over me about four years ago when I got very sick after returning from a mission trip to the U.K. But although that was a learning process and certainly life changing for me, this somehow feels different. It seems more difficult. The way I see the world is forever altered. It's a hard thing to adjust to because in altering my world view everything else in my life is affected by the chain reaction.
In college we are introduced to a number of new theories, philosphies, points of view...all of which are intended to break us down, bend the corners of our minds, and make us think outside the box. It is too much to ask for a simple straight forward answer from a professor or advisor. No, we are asked to come to our own conclusions given all of the (known) facts.
It is exciting at first being in charge of what to believe and think... and for some this is their first experience with such a challenge.
But then later it can become earth shattering as we are forced to watch the things we held so close shatter...the truths we thought untouuchable broken into a million pieces.
It is a part of life...this breaking, I know that. Every season of life carries with it some letting go, some grief, but in college it is more so--if only because of the fact that we are for the first time understanding fully what we do and do not believe and being forced to make constant decisions that shape how we think and who we are and will be in the future.
The redeeming thing about college, and life in general, is that most of the time the things that are broken often get put back together again...I am holding on to this hope.
There is only One who can put the various mixmatched broken pieces of my worldview and everything connected with it back together in my life...I lean on the hope that He will restore me to a more complete version of myself than before...a more complete me than I had previously understood to be possible.
2 comments:
If we never broke, we wouldn't need God to help us pick up the pieces.
p.s. I love your headline.
Knowledge is the crucible of life. Will you strive to obtain it? What will you do when you gain some of it? How will you use it? Who will you become as a result of its influence?
Remember, He loves you--no matter...
...and so do I. Dad
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and discipline. Prov. 1:7
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