No matter what...I'm an uptown girl

Last night at 11:30 p.m. I returned to my apartment after a long day of traveling from Washington D.C.--what ended up being twelve hours of traveling whether by taxi, plane, bus or car. It was a great trip. Jillian Collett, Nicole Chin, Lisa (from KAPU radio station--don't remember her last name)and I went with our supervisor Prof. Karen Sorensen to the 2007 National College Media Convention. We each learned ways to improve our writing and The Clause in general. We went to sessions varying from "Religious Freedom--the First 16 Words of the First Ammendment" to "Right on Time: Keeping the College Weekly Fresh and Newsworthy" from "Crisp Style for Journalists" to "The Truth About Jobs and Internships."
It was interesting to be in a place where there were so many different journalists from so many publicatioins learning how to make their work better together. But I must say, my favorite part of the trip, although the learning was superb, was being in that city again. It had been six years since I had been there for my eighth grade field trip. I had forgotten how absolutely gorgeous it is over there.
Our room overlooked a street that, for D.C., was just an ordinary two lane street, but, compared to the ridiculous traffic filled streets of L.A. I am used to, seemed quaint and beautiful in that "Family Matters" way. It's houses were all multiple stories stacked right next to each other--all brick or planked wood with adorable porches and along streets lined with parked cars. A long the left side of the view was what looked like an embassy building with it's majestic white-washed look, big courtyard, and flags waving in the rainy, windy weather.
The city itself was alive with the hustle and bustle of people who don't use cars, but instead walk on foot in boots and ugs and leave their pumps and dress shoes in their desks at work. Every store, restaurant, bar, and coffee shop is open late and bursting with the sounds of lively chatter and excited conversation.
We walked the streets late together--after our sessions and dinner--looking for adventure around every corner. We were excited to discover the White House near by and the Capitol Building just as close. The skyline of high rise business and government buildings was amazing and although the stars were hard to find between rain clouds each evening was still magically lit from the adorable light posts that decorated the streets and parks.
Some may know that I have been pondering for a some time now applying to the Washington Journalism Center. Well, it was in this city where I realized just how amazing studying in a place like this would be. So after more touring and talking with the very eccentric founder of WJC, I have finally made the decision to apply for the program. I really feel like it is what I need for myself and also for my career. Especially because I became convinced at the convention that the key into the journalism industry is a great internship and lots of well written clips.
So that is where I am now--it's really funny to think about because just a year and a half I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I love that God has used my love of writing to direct my path. It's true--the desires of my heart really do matter to Him and that is continually comforting to me.

No matter what...Birthdays never grow old

My birthday is in two weeks. It's my 21st birthday and so it is kind of a big thing. The funny thing is though, I am not a drinker and I really don't think I'll ever be big on the whole alcohol scene. I have had drinks before, but when others get silly or happy when they are buzzed, I tend to just get very sleepy--I hate being sleepy especially when I am supposed to be having fun. My parents do have some great wine at home though and I know I will be happy to partake of more than the four sips my dad will allow me now.
What I am most excited about, rather than the drinking, is just getting together with friends and family and celebrating life. I love laughing and sharing stories, I love good food and having an excuse to eat all the cake I want, and I love that my birthday is the beginning of my favorite part of the year, oh and the presents are always a plus ;).
Birthdays have always been amazing at the Curtis household. When I was five, I had a circus birthday. No, we did not go to the circus--we brought the circus to us. We had games and face painting, a jumpy house, pin the tail on the donkey, a homemade clown cake that my grandpa made from scratch, a popcorn and cotton candy stand, and hotdogs for lunch. Birthdays have always been big. I usually was allowed to make plans for a friend party and then for my family party I got to pick what we ate for dinner. So my point is birthdays hold a special place in my heart even now that I am turning 21.
Most kids, as they grow, get bored with birthday parties, cake, and singing "Happy Birthday," but I still love it just as much as I did when I wore my pretty flower dress and got my face painted at my circus birthday party almost 16 years ago.
Birthdays to me will always be a magical day when everyone wants to treat me nice, be my friend, play dollies--or whatever other game it has grown to be--, and sit next to me while I open presents.
So I am here to say that my birthday is in two weeks, Nov. 10 and you are all invited to join in the celebration--the more the merrier.

No matter what...the broken are mended

I have discovered the secret to college life...breaking things. College is all about breaking things...breaking world views, philosophies, writing processes, feelings of security, financial stability, sleep patterns, hopes, dreams, desires, eating habits.
Recently I have had somewhat of a crisis of faith. My whole world seems to have been dumped upside down and for some reason it is really hard for me to make sense of anything right now.
This isn't the first time this has happened. A similar feeling came over me about four years ago when I got very sick after returning from a mission trip to the U.K. But although that was a learning process and certainly life changing for me, this somehow feels different. It seems more difficult. The way I see the world is forever altered. It's a hard thing to adjust to because in altering my world view everything else in my life is affected by the chain reaction.
In college we are introduced to a number of new theories, philosphies, points of view...all of which are intended to break us down, bend the corners of our minds, and make us think outside the box. It is too much to ask for a simple straight forward answer from a professor or advisor. No, we are asked to come to our own conclusions given all of the (known) facts.
It is exciting at first being in charge of what to believe and think... and for some this is their first experience with such a challenge.
But then later it can become earth shattering as we are forced to watch the things we held so close shatter...the truths we thought untouuchable broken into a million pieces.
It is a part of life...this breaking, I know that. Every season of life carries with it some letting go, some grief, but in college it is more so--if only because of the fact that we are for the first time understanding fully what we do and do not believe and being forced to make constant decisions that shape how we think and who we are and will be in the future.
The redeeming thing about college, and life in general, is that most of the time the things that are broken often get put back together again...I am holding on to this hope.
There is only One who can put the various mixmatched broken pieces of my worldview and everything connected with it back together in my life...I lean on the hope that He will restore me to a more complete version of myself than before...a more complete me than I had previously understood to be possible.

No matter what...true friends come back

I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine a little while ago. Jenelle and I have a long history. We grew up together--first in Moreno Valley and then, later in Temecula. We even lived together for about nine months during high school. This semester she is studying in San Francisco and it seems like an amazing opportunity, but we miss each other and don't get much time to catch up on life and just chat. Jenelle said something tonight though that I just loved. She said that it is so great that we are close enough to go about our lives and go our seperate ways, but when we come back together and catch up it's like we never miss a beat--like we never left eachother. And she is so right. True friends are like that. They can leave one another for varying time periods and still remain so close that there is no difference in their relationship when they are reunited.

No matter what, mom, you will always be my superhero."

You know when your little and you don't feel like doing something, but your mom tells you too and then adds that little extra line at the end, "Someday you may even thank me for making you do this...." As a kid you think no way will I ever understand you or why you're making me do this and no way will I ever thank you for it. Well I am here to say that I am repeatedly being forced to eat my words on that account.
For example, when I was little it was a must that I eat my vegetables and try everything at least once. I hated trying things that looked yucky or worse, eating things I knew would make me gag, but now that I am older I have come to see the wisdom behind my mothers words. I now enjoy a variety of foods, I always try everything and I think that this has helped to contribute to my being a well rounded (no pun intended here) person.
I was expected to do other various chores growing up: make my bed, help with dinner, feed the dog, take out the trash, and clean my bathroom and room. These are everyday chores that just about every kid hates to do--especially when they cut in on time spent in the pool or playing hide-and-go-seek with friends outside. But I am so thankful that I know how to clean up after myself, make my own meals and live in a clean environment.
The fact of the matter is I would not be who I am today with out the tender care of my mother.
I am convinced that my mom is super mom! She cooks, cleans, helps with homework, does the laundry and all this after she gets home from treating insane criminals for eight hours a day at a hospital an hour and a half away. My mom gives the best advice, knows when to give it and when to let me figure things out on my own. She has mastered the art of cooking dairyless and eggless for two decades now. She lets me know when I am missed, but understands that I have to strike out and make a life of my own. In essence she is my biggest fan and my best friend roled into one. And I love her for all of it.... for every minute way she loves me and the rest of the family, for the way she makes home feel like home, for the way she showers people with her thoughtful gifts and understanding words of encouragement, from writing notes and putting them in my lunches to driving out to meet me with meals in tow for the next week because I am away at college and haven't had time in the past week to make it to the grocery store.
Everything she does she does in responce to her love for others... that is why I am saying tonight: "No matter what, mom, you will always be my superhero."

no matter what...laughter is the best medicine

Yesterday I spent the day with my boyfriend, DAN (I capitalize his name here because he was dismayed when he read my other blogs and found that I only referred to him as "my boyfriend"). My favorite part of our day together was our tickle fight.
I was delirious at the time because I was tired. If any of you know me--you know that I get silly and playful and yes, some have even associated my actions with that of a drunk person when I get sleepy.
So anyways, I was tickling Dan, the man who claims he is not ticklish in the least, and he laughed--a lot. I am a very ticklish person--even if someone looks like they are going to tickle me I start squirming and giggling uncontrollably. So we laughed--a lot.
I love that when I laugh all my worries, hurts, and pains go away--even for a brief moment. The past week was hard--harder than I imagined it would be. Every week seems to be that way now. Just when I think I have everything under control, I am forced to realize again that I can't control anything. That is why, every now and then, I have to be reminded to laugh. Dan knows how to remind me. Just when I get too serious, he can look at me funny or tickle me under my armpits and I remember to laugh again, to breath, and to play. He teaches me not to take myself too seriously and for that I am thankful because even I (the second most stubborn person I know) can admit I get crazy sometimes under the pressures of this life I lead. So thanks babe for laughing with me this weekend.

No matter what..."time is of the essence" or "you never know what you got til its gone"

Okay, so my other blog got me thinking because I briefly mentioned this in it:

It is amazing to me how much time I used to have. I did nothing with my time. What did I do with all of the wonderful amounts of time I had in years previous? I don't even have a clue--I vaguely remember watching copious amounts of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. but apart from that--I honestly don't know where or to what my time went.

Now, this year, I am extremely aware of every spare moment--probably because there are so few... I am painfully aware of them. If I have an extra ten minutes I am taken off guard--what will I do with this insane amount of extra time?

This must fall into the category of: "you never really know what you've got until it's gone."
Suddenly I find myself singing Amy Grant's "Parking Lot" song... "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what ya got 'til it's gone...pave paradise and put up a parking lot...woo...."
Sorry about that--I can't resist a good song... and yes I did sing it to make sure I got the right words down.

Anyways, I am suddenly at a loss for time and it is affecting much more of my life than I ever really imagined it would.

My relationships are impacted--I now make appointments with friends--gone are the days when we could casually meet up somewhere; now I schedule my lunch dates or playtime at the park. And even when I do this I inevitably will, occassionaly, double book and have to cancel on someone. My boyfriend calls and I am in the middle of something so I promise to call back only to forget and have him call me again later when I am already on to my next task.

My homework is impacted. I find myself constantly juggling life--which is more important the reading for Church History or the 1 page response for Romans and Galatians or should I just skip both and study for my Media Law and Ethics test on Thursday because I won't have time to study on Wednesday because I'll be at the Clause office until 1 a.m.?

My sleep is impacted--I find myself waking up in the middle of the night asking myself "Did I assign that story too early?" or "Did I brush my teeth?" I am a walking zomby for half of the week because I get up early to finish assignments before class. Then, Thursday after class--really the end of my most stressful part of the week-- I crash. I go to sleep for hours at a time in the middle of my Thursday and don't feel completly rested again until Sunday morning--just in time to start all over again.

I wish that I could just go back in time for a moment and just tell myself to enjoy the free time while it lasts...because soon reality will hit--and boy did it hit hard this semester.

Somehow time isn't something people think of when they think of lost or stolen goods. I do now. My time is precious and anything that I am doing that isn't worth my time is stolen from me--lost forever.

So if you are talking to me and I look a little annoyed--maybe pick up the conversation or change topics--don't waste the few precious free moments I have in my day. :)

no matter what...best friends are forever--even when in Spain

My best friend and I met in junior high school. I was sad at the time because it was my eighth grade year and, as highschool approached, I was being forced to once again make new friends. All of my friends from previous years were moving schools for highschool and I knew that eventually I would be left alone at my small Christian school, Linfield.

I was going to Disneyland with my mom and sister and we girls were allowed to bring along a friend. I took this opportunity to get to know Taylor Martindale, a girl I knew was staying for highschool, from my Geography class. So I invited her and it was a blast! We became instant life-long friends at Disneyland, which may be part of the reason why Disneyland has always seemed so magical to me. From that day on we were inseperable an we found that through the school projects, birthday parties, painting nails, pillow fights, book clubs, movie nights, midnight snacks and endless summer pool days we became closer than sisters.

After Highschool we each went on to our seperate places she went to the east coast to William and Mary and I went just an hour and a half north to Azusa. It took me a while to get used to not having her around everyday after highschool, but we talked every week or two on the phone and constantly instant messaged and emailed one another. Plus, she came home on holidays and so we really only had to go a few months without actually hanging out together in person.

On Christmas break of our freshman year--tragedy striked. She and her family moved to Oregon. I was heartbroken as only a best friend could be, but we still kept in touch constantly and in the summer before our sophomore year my boyfriend and I drove up to see her for a few days. This past summer Tay and her family were able to move back to Temecula, Ca--where we grew up and where I still live. It was the best thing that could have happened. We were so excited to just be around each other again. We had sleep overs and play dates all the time--it was just like being in highschool again--only without the lameness.

But alas, we were forced to part ways once again. Only this fall she is living in Sevilla, Spain, not in Virginia, on a study abroad program. And I have recently been forced to come to the horrible realization that I no longer can pick up my phone and call my best friend when something funny happens or when I'm bored on my way home from work like I did so many times before. It's an adjustment like none other. I thought, (stupidly) somehow, that this semester wouldn't be all that different from the many others before it--I guess I just figured that if you're 3,000 miles away what's a few more thousand miles? But I didn't factor into my calculations how busy I would be this semester and the fact that virtually all our communication is going to be through emails and blogs.

The fact of the matter is--I miss my best friend. She is the one that knows me better than anyone else does. She understands where I am coming from, where I want to go and how I want to get there. She always knows just what to say when I am hurting or sad and just when to laugh when I am telling one of my poorly delivered jokes. I know many people will say, "Whitney, it's just for a semester," and "you have other friends." I know this and I don't deny it in any way, I have many other friends whom I love and adore, but really in any friendship there is no one that can just replace your best friend--not even another wonderful friend.

I know that Tay and I will always be friends, our friendship does not hang in the balance because she is simply a million miles away and almost unreachable. She will be back at Christmas and life will be like it was. No, I am not lamenting a lost friendship here. I am lamenting an easily accessible friend--lost for the time being, leaving me a little lonelier than I was once before.